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The tough times

I am going through some tough time and it's not economical or productivity based but rather spiritual.  I am constantly realising that I am a sinner and have lost my way.  It also reminds me that I am not going to be any better in the future and wha a doomed life I live.  Oh I wish I could share with you my pain.  I long for redemption and sometimes I feel that I am nothing more than a hypocrite. I fear that I would be exposed for my sins both the present and the past.

But it was only recently I was reminded that there is hope.  This period was called anfechtugen,  a period of valleys.  The valleys  are so deep that I often forget about there ever being a high ground.  C S Lewis tells in his book the screw tape letters about this period.  In this period I am more vulnerable to fall. Let me be kept reminded Lord that this period is temporary and keep fighting sin harder in this period as I need more strength.

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